My Thoughts on Mother’s Day Blessings

Every woman deserves to feel loved on Mothers’ Day! Photo by Bart LaRue on Unsplash

On Mother’s Day a few years ago, I was having lunch with my mother. The waiter passed out flowers to every woman and wished them a “Happy Mother’s Day.” That memory hit me yesterday, and it sent a rush of thoughts through my mind. So I want to share them with you now.

Trigger warning: Some of this content covers sensitive issues.

“Happy Mother’s Day.”

That’s something we naturally say on this special holiday, right? Mothers deserve to be recognized for their hard work. Nine months of excruciating pain while growing a baby in one’s womb?! And then several years trying to keep these children alive? Damn, that takes strength and patience!

And yet, I feel like we’re too liberal wishing women a “happy Mother’s Day.” Why? For one thing, not all women want children. Having breasts and a vagina doesn’t mean that a woman feels called to become a parent (right now…or ever.) And that’s fine! Kudos to the ones who know they just aren’t ready yet or simply want to focus on themselves and their careers.

Another thing to keep in mind is that some women have endured trauma. Six examples of trauma include:

• Losing a child due to a miscarriage or an illness
• Enduring parental abuse during childhood
• Feeling guilty for aborting a child
• Feeling guilty for not being able to provide for a family
• Mourning after the loss of a mother
• Grieving after finding out they can’t have biological children

I don’t know what it’s like to go through any of those scenarios. When I see a woman without a child, I don’t know her story. So even if she is a mom, I don’t wish her a happy Mother’s Day. It’s not because I don’t appreciate or want to celebrate motherhood; it’s because I don’t want to unintentionally trigger traumatic memories.

And now you might be thinking, Wow, Martha! What a jerk! Not every mother has a traumatic experience. You’re just being irrational and oversensitive. Maybe there’s a mother who is hanging on by a thread while trying to provide for her child. You’re holding back words that could make her feel just a little better…